A Night of Reel Music

I love music and I love movies. Thus a fusion of both is always a treat. I am hoping "Idol" will have the Broadway theme again this season just like last year but while I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that, I'll take a night of movie theme songs anytime. With the range of choices, a contestant is bound to end up with either a jackpot or a huge mistake in terms of song choice.

Tonight, I don't think Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud fared very well. Lil sang Bette Midler's "The Rose" and I would say it was not as bad a song choice as the judges thought it was but her performance was rather rough. She was going off-key in one too many places and I seriously thought that in one way or another, it was like "Surrender" all over again in the sense that I thought she was having difficulty with the song. Neither did Matt do well with "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" from Don Juan de Marco. He seemed to have vocally tangled himself up in all the runs he was doing and like Lil, he was always going off pitch. The bridge did not sound too well with him sounding like he was struggling with the pitch, the tune and even his runs. I'm not sure who among them both would end up going home since Matt is not as popular as the other contestants and I am not sure if after weeks of Lil not performing up to judges' expectations, her fanbase is still pretty strong.

Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey fall into my "okay" group. Kris did a song called "Falling Slowly" which I had never heard before. I have never really been a huge fan of Kris's voice and for me, this song didn't really bring out the side of his vocal ability which I liked. I think if he sang it in a lower pitch, I might have liked his performance.

Allison and Danny sang two of my favorite love songs. Allison picked the Aerosmith power ballad "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from the movie Armageddon. I really love the original version so I tend to make comparisons. On its own merits, Allison's performance was pretty good. She now ranks among my top 3 favorites and her voice literally blows me away. I just had a problem with the fact that I have heard one too many versions of this song and Allison's performance was not exactly a standout. Danny sang "Endless Love," which, as I said, is really one of my ultimate favorites. He started okay although at one point, he did go off key. I loved his emotional connection with the audience (and did I say, with me?) and that really is his asset. I was glad that he did not depart from the original version since I am very conservative when it comes to my old favorites. However as much as it was his boon, it also was his bane. The performance came across as very safe and nothing extraordinary so, like Simon, I too was disappointed.

Adam Lambert was, once again, in a world of his own as he shattered through the night of ballads with "Born to be Wild." The night saw him literally jumping back to his histrionics but I was glad he did tone down the screaming tonight. But then the man is, as I have said one to many times, an entertainer and he makes every bit of radiation exposure from the TV all worth it.

My favorite performance of the evening belongs to Anoop Desai who sang "I Do It For You" from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. This song holds a particularly soft spot for my sister and me since Robin Hood was the movie which marked our first jump from Betamax to laser disc. We both loved singing along to the song (with the matching air guitar playing) before we got to the opening credits of the film. Anoop's rendition of the song was, in a word, beautiful. I was crushing the pillow I was hugging into nothingness. His voice was smooth and rich and I totally and absolutely loved his version of the song. I HEART ANOOP again!

Perspective Reorganization

I've been home for barely a week.

In a rather strange/funny twist of a consequence, I've also barely spent time at home ever since I got back. The only time I'm with my entire family is either during breakfast or dinner. My dogs probably wonder why I'm gone in the morning and come home late at night. And I keep forgetting to tell my mom that the fresh coat of green paint she had applied on one wall in my room is not as bad as it looks from the earlier pictures she sent me through MMS.

As a lot of people know, my grandfather has been in the hospital for the past two weeks. He has been wheeled in and wheeled out like this for the last three months. Before I came home, the last time I saw him was in January. He was doing very well and could hoist a Monobloc chair by himself, limping gait and all. Now he's confined to a hospital bed 24/7 and I have to get used to the fact that he cannot even scratch his own foot when it feels itchy. To be honest about it, scratching his foot is just one of the less serious things he can no longer do.

In another stranger/funnier twist to our current hospital adventure, my grandmother also got sick with pneumonia last Wednesday! The doctors allowed both my grandparents to be confined in the same room although my grandfather's constant infusion with steroids makes him predisposed to infection thus the need to keep the room's built-in plastic dividers constantly unfolded. It does get pretty hilarious at times, especially when I sit in one corner of the room and I see two beds with two people lying in them and IV tubes snaking about in metal poles right beside them. Sometimes when my grandmother needs to go to the bathroom, she drags her IV along with her and stops about 6 feet away from my grandfather and starts waving. In fact, my sister and I are planning on making them one of those can-and-string contraptions so that they don't have to shout at each other all the time. For the meantime, we make them sing duets and I think it becomes some form of lung exercise. Sometimes I get the feeling that the nurses wonder if we do have an idea of how serious my grandparents' respective medical conditions can get but then, just like Patch Adams, we believe laughter is a really good form of medicine. After all, in occasions such as this, I have learned that it really helps to couple one's faith with a huge dose of humor just so the "ups" rise higher than they normally could and the "downs" are not as low as expected.

Actually other lessons have been learned in the process. I do not think of this as a form of escapism. I'd like to call it something like perspective reorganization, a fancy term for what others may call viewing the glass as half full when it can also be seen as half empty. I do not deny that there are a lot of things going around which can make the heart seem heavier but I refuse to be weighed down by negativity. My cousin Striker took me out to dinner tonight in Maki with his girlfriend right after his hospital shift ended at 9 PM. It was good to finally get out of the hospital and have some fresh tempura and as he drove me home, I exchanged more stories about chewy cookies, sotanghon, baked oysters and fried chicken with his girlfriend who, apparently, was a foodie just like him! That (and a vision of Mrs. Fields cookies on a plate) certainly worked to ease the stress, tiredness and frustration off my shoulders. Next time maybe we can go out for some nai cha after every shift.

Apart from that, here is a rundown of the other good things about practically living in the hospital:

* New version of family reunions
- My entire family usually gets together on birthdays, weddings or holidays or other occasions which call for a celebration. This time around, my family came up with a shift schedule wherein we each take 4-hour shifts to keep an eye out for our two senior patients. This is just to make sure that at least one person is on hand to be with the both of them. But that does not mean you can't drop by during another person's shift. For instance, last week and yesterday, I got to spend some time with Manang Apple since I've really missed hanging out with her. I also get a kick out of playing matchmaker when it comes to Manang Gracious and a certain other person. Sometimes, M.B., one of my cousins, joins us vicariously when she entertains my grandfather's request to play old love songs in her morning radio show. The best day of the week comes when a family member brings food like pancit and arroz caldo...although there is no greater hit than Aiyi's truly amazing taco pizza which, I believe, is making me pudgy! Yum!

* Catching up on reading
- During my shift, when my two wards are in lullaby land, I do two things: catch up on my reading and the movies I've missed. I've been on an Audrey Niffenegger hiatus since January and I am soooo happy to be finally reunited with Clare and Henry. When I'm done, I'll be seeing some Jodi Picoult, David Baldacci, Mary Higgins Clark and Nicholas Sparks. Yehey for the bookworm!

* DVD marathons
- My grandmother loves to watch movies, especially anything which stars KC Concepcion. So I've seen "For the First Time" one too many times for comfort. I also have some musical selections for her like "Hairspray" and "Mamma Mia," both of which she really enjoyed. Tomorrow we'll probably be watching another Tagalog flick and it will surely be interesting because my grandmother does not speak Tagalog. Neither does she understand the language. Yipee for the team of translators!

* American Idol with guest judges
- Last week it was different to watch American Idol with my grandparents. My grandmother was ranting about how she didn't get my taste in music or TV shows. For instance, she looked baffled when my sister and I did a standing O for Adam Lambert. She thought he was from Ghostbusters or something like that. My grandfather, on the other hand, was more critical than Simon Cowell as he made thumbs down gestures at the end of every number. He fell asleep halfway through the show, though. Yahoo!

* Bonding with our Creator
- It's great to bond with my grandparents over a meal or a good conversation. But nothing beats praying together. I've never really prayed with my grandparents on a one-on-one basis before. Throughout the week, I sat on my grandfather's bedside and I read to him from my Bible. If I was up to it, I'd ask him questions. Sometimes he'd answer me, sometimes he'd tell me to read on. Sometimes he'd finish the passage for me, just like what he did in the morning of Good Friday when I was reading a passage about the two thieves crucified with Jesus in Calvary. The word "paradise" all together had a brand new meaning for the two us. Yes indeed!

* A 58-year old love team
- Come June 11, my grandparents will officially hit the the 58-year mark of being married to each other. Their marriage hasn't been perfect, that's for sure. What amazes - or surprises me - is that after 58 years of being together, they can still wake up in the morning with new realizations about each other. Yihee!

* Giving back
- Call this a case of role reversal. My grandparents have given their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren so much. It's time for us flip the coin or put the car on reverse. At the point of our lives when we needed them, they were always there for us. Taking care of them is, for me, not an obligation. It is as natural as a river taking its proper course - in the same way that in a person's life, everything has to run through the same route.

iTuned In (As Usual)

So Wednesday night comes again - that time of the week when I shut out the world for two whole hours and it's just me, the couch, the TV and my text buddy Joey. But first a quick rewind to last week. Motown night was a blast and I still couldn't get over the performances. I absolutely loved Matt Giraud's soulful take on Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" but top prize went to Adam Lambert's subdued and controlled rendition of "Tracks of My Tears." Michael Sarver did not give the worst performance (that distinction goes to Megan Joy who gave me ear hemorrhage if there is such a specie) but it was no surprise that it was the oil rig worker, and not the font designer, who was sent home.

With iTunes night, there was definitely no dearth in terms of song choices. As long as the song was a top download in the iTunes register, it was up for grabs. In addition, this was another opportunity for them to sound relevant and contemporary and also for the viewers to get an idea as to what kind of singer they will be if they do make it to the recording biz. But with a range of songs that wide to choose from, it can also work to one's disadvantage as it can give hints as to the singer's creativity and flexibility as a performer. From my perspective it is also important to pick a song which showcases the singer's range and personality but still remain distinct from the original artist's version.

With nine people left onstage, it becomes easier to categorize the performances. I'll start with the "middle 3" a.k.a the ones who sang all right - Lil Rounds, Allison Iraheta and Scott MacIntyre.

Scott's vocals have never really been overly impressive but I have always liked his voice quality. Singing "Just the Way You Are" brought that out rather well. He was not amazing but his performance was very good. Allison is also one of my favorites and her rocker chick getup was not as distracting as the judges (or Joey, for the matter) thought. I also loved her song pick (No Doubt's "Don't Speak" which is one of my sister's favorite songs) but she did sound a little too much like Gwen Stefani so I don't think she brought anything new to it. As for Lil, she is (still) frustrating. I loved her audition and I also thoroughly enjoyed her Top 36 performance but everything has been sort of downhill from that point. I am still waiting for her to take one song and rip it into a million of shreds because with a voice as big as that and a personality to boot, she can do it. That perfect song just seems elusive for Lil Rounds at this point. Celine Dion's "Surrender" was not right for her. There were times when she sounded a little too nasal for comfort and other times when she seemed to struggle. She did soar on the big notes though and I think that, and the swooping camera, worked to her advantage.

The "bottom" three a.k.a. the endangered ones would include Megan Joy, Matt Giraud and Anoop Desai. After two weeks of making me swoon like a schoolgirl, everything came to a screeching halt for Anoop. He chose to sing Usher's "Caught Up" and did he have huge shoes to fill! Usher is the total performer and is smooth in terms of both the dance moves and the vocals. Anoop, for the life of me, has the voice but not the groove. I did not get any bit of that toughie, gangsterish gloating (which we last saw in his performance of "Beat It" three weeks ago) and I don't think it worked to make his performance any better.
Megan Joy was a letdown. Last week she was not good at all. She didn't hit the high notes that she was supposed to hit at all and she was sort of getting all over the place. This week was no improvement. It wasn't as horrible as last week in terms of technique but her performance was so boring I felt my eyes drooping. I think it is about time Megan Joy goes home. I will miss her spunk when she's gone, though.

Matt Giraud also was a disappointment. He decided to go the alternative route this week, taking on The Fray's "You Found Me." That brought me back to the first week when he performed a Coldplay song which was not good. I don't like it at all when Matt starts snarling because he sounds much better when he's all smooth and suave. He sounded A LOT like the original and that, for me, took some points off him.

Now that leaves me with my "top" 3 - Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.

Danny didn't deviate so much from The Temptations' original version of "Get Ready" last week. Neither did he sneak in his signature runs - or do anything radically different - in his rendition of Rascal Flatt's "What Hurts the Most" this week. But what made his performance endearing was just the right blend of emotion and power which he injected into the song. He did veer off-key about twice in the course of the song but he more than made up for it. With his unique tone, he was able to make the song his own. I think he should take one week off the power hook and just croon to one sentimental ballad with all vulnerability.

Adam was, in two words, a showman. I love Adam better when he's soft and subdued (like I previously mentioned, his "Tracks of My Tears" performance was simply beautiful). This week, he chose Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music." Joey texted me, "Why is it that it's okay when Adam Lambert gets indulgent?" Maybe, that's because that's when he's most entertaining. Not his best but entertaining. I would prefer that he left his histrionics to the dressing room but I guess since people know he's a theater dude (he was understudy for Fiyero in LA's production of "Wicked"), they allow him to be flamboyant. I just need to turn the volume down a bit low lest my eardrums explode. But over all, I really did enjoy watching him work up the stage.

The night did not end without seeing me become a Kris Allen convert. I seriously doubted the abilities of this worship leader from Arkansas in the initial stage of the competition, but tonight, he really showed his prowess with "Ain't No Sunshine". The arrangement was perfect and his performance was equally great. He is not as vocally gifted as my other top contenders but he picks songs which best show his abilities.

The Special Jam

Once upon a time, in a blue planet called Earth, there was a tiny, nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific. On that tiny, nose-shaped island was a city criscrossed by a river. Somewhere near that river was a house with a white roof, stone walls and a 30-year old tree which stood by its lonesome in the front yard. Somewhere inside that house, there lived a little girl.

This little girl loved to do so many things. She played her little wonky-tonky piano. She climbed the huge tree in the garden. She made an obstacle course out of old tires and string. She dug a hole in the front yard, hoping to get to Brazil. She dug another hole on another side of the yard with hopes of finding a velociraptor fossil. She made mud pies and topped them with flowers. She washed her socks near the water pump in the garden. She sang lullabies. She flew paper planes with secret messages hidden under the flaps. But above all this, there was one thing which topped the little girl's list of things to do. She absolutely loved to eat.

The little girl's father was an excellent cook. In fact, he was a wizard in the kitchen. No one else in the city criscrossed by the river, in the nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific, in the blue planet called Earth was as skilled in the culinary arts as the little girl's father. He made sunny-side ups with ketchup smilies and mouth-watering shepherd's pie. His fish-and-chips was a mealtime winner as well as his trademark macaroni-and-cheese. The steamed rice was always fragrant and the vegetable dumplings were crunchy. The roasted chicken was a runaway hit as much as the fresh salad. The mashed potatoes were always warm and drowning in gravy and the cheesecake and chocolate-chip cookies were sweet and soft.

But the little girl's father made one farely simple meal which his daughter absolutely loved above all the fancy meals he made - toast with butter and his special home-made jam. No one else in the city criscrossed by the river, in the nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific, in the blue planet called Earth made jam like this. The little girl usually had her sweet snack a couple of hours before noon, just around mid-day when she was in the middle of her front yard activities. Her father would call out her name and when he did, she would drop whatever was in her hands to rush inside the house and enjoy her snack. The toast was brown and crisp. The butter was soft and warm but the jam was the best. The sweetness was not too strong for the palate and the jam had a fruity-creamy taste to it which went absolutely well with the toast and butter. The jam and the butter were generously spread all over the toast that the filling would sometimes drip beyond the bread and onto the plate where it usually sat.

Day in and day out, the routine proceeded as such. The little girl went through her daily activities in the front yard while her father would keep an eye on her while doing his own brand of magic in the kitchen. By midday, he would call out to her for their quick snack together and she would rush in and sit beside him as she licked her fingers clean of her favorite toast, butter and jam ensemble. Day in and day out, morning till night, that was the life of the little girl and her father who lived in a house in the city criscrossed by the river nestled in a nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific on the blue planet called Earth.

One day, the little girl woke up as usual and walked to the front yard for her usual daytime activities. She brought out her tiny tin box filled with small, plastic soldiers smartly dressed in their red coats and fur hats. She arranged her mini army in flanks and ranks and brought out her little bugle so she could play some form of battle music for her plastic troops. She was so engrossed in her work when she realized that it was already past midday and her father had not yet called her in for their snack of toast, butter and jam. Puzzled, she ran to the kitchen and found him there, emerging flushed from the oven as he took out freshly baked loaves of bread.

"Papa," she said. "It's midday. Are we not going to have our snack?"

Her father smiled at her and answered, "I thought we ought to try something different today. I was thinking you were getting a little pudgy," he answered with a tease. "But if you're hungry," he added, "we can have the toast now."

The little girl bit her lip and thought to herself. She did not think she was as pudgy as her father hinted she was becoming but she realized she wasn't that hungry yet anyway. Besides, while building her mini version of the battle of Waterloo, she had a bright idea of constructing a make-believe town out of her dolls and other toys just a few meters away from the "battlefield." That ought to give the entire setup a more realistic feel.

"I'm not hungry," she declared. "We can have the toast later, Papa. Thank you." With that she skipped back to her front yard while her father shot a quick glance at her retreating form.

She sat down on the grass and arranged her dollhouse on one side of the garden, a few feet away from the battlefield. She made pinwheels out of plastic and paper and moved some pots of plants and flowers into her little town center. She placed her dolls in various positions and scattered small branches and twigs in a make-believe park. She made mini-skyscrapers out of matchboxes. She shook beetles from the leaves of the tree, tied up their wings and placed them on the little town center as overweight horses.

Morning sped into noontime and the little girl continued with her work, not even noticing the noonday heat pierce through her red dress. She blew into her little bugle and the mock battle proceeded. The enemies were defeated and the little town and its horse-beetles were declared safe from the invaders. All was well in the front yard.

Except, that is, for the little girl's stomach.

It was now rumbling and grumbling, as if a herd of buffaloes went on a stampede inside her tummy. She glanced up at the sky and saw that it was blue bordering on orange, indicating it must be pushing into late afternoon. She wondered where her father was and what on earth he was doing.

As if he were reading her thoughts, her father called out her name and said "Snacktime!"

She abandoned her little town and sped to the table like a bullet to have her long overdue meal. She found her father sitting on the table with the toast on a plate and she rushed to her chair.

"I thought I was never gonna have one of the--" she began to say as she climbed into her chair. She stopped midway and stared at the toast sitting on the plate on top of the table. She looked up to her father with eyes full of bewilderment and then she frowned.

Her father again read her mind perfectly. He inhaled slowly and said gently, "That's the different thing I wanted to try today."

The toast was warm and the scent of the bread with butter and jam was unmistakeably familiar. But this time, the butter and jam filling was almost invisible. In fact, it only occupied a small section of the toast, right on the center of it, like a ballerina in the middle of an otherwise empty stage.

"But I'm not pudgy," she began to protest.

"I know," her father answered. "But that's all you're gonna have today."

"Why?" the little girl asked as her eyes began to brim with tears and her stomach continued to roar in rage.

"Just eat," her father said calmly and pushed the plate towards her.

She knew better than to protest or whine. She reached out for the piece of toast and stole another glance at her father. His answer to her silent plea was "Go on, eat."

She exhaled sharply and began to nibble at the bread. It was warm and crisp like before but without the jam and the butter, it did taste a bit flat. But she was hungry and she needed to quell the revolt that was now being staged by her gastric system. She sighed and continued to chew. She was so eager to get to the center but realized she ought to save the best part - the section of the bread with the oozing chunk of butter and the sweet jam - for last. So she bit and chewed and nibbled at the toast - right, left, small chunks here, bigger chunks there. She carefully worked her way around the areas without the butter and the jam, ignoring the clamor for the sweetness and the creaminess. All the while, her father sat on his chair, watching her.

Finally all she had left was the remainder of the piece of toast with the jam and the butter on top of it. She stared at it, as if it were cherry on top of a cake. She turned to look at her father who gave her a small smile.

"Do you promise we won't have to do this again tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

Her father looked at her with quiet gentleness. He brushed back a stray strand of hair which had fallen out of place from her ponytail and his hand finally lingered on her face.

"I can't make that promise, I'm sorry," he answered. "That's the last of my special jam."

Her eyes widened with surprise. No more of her favorite jam? No more of that special sweet concoction which was the only one of its kind in the city criscrossed by the river, in the nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific, in the blue planet called Earth? This cannot be happening!

"Well you can make more, can't you? You always have," she pleaded through tears which now refused to stop flowing from her eyes.

Her father shook his head slowly but he never took his eyes away from her. "I'm not making the special jam anymore."

She placed the remnant of the toast on her plate and began to cry. How was she to go through each day without her special snack of toast with butter and her father's special jam? It was what she looked forward to every morning, after a long day in the front yard with her dolls, her soldiers, her mudpies and her beetles.

The little girl felt her father's hand on her shoulder and she heard him whisper "I think you need to eat your toast now. The butter is melting."

She took another glance at her father. His eyes still had that quiet gentleness but were themselves brimming with tears. He gave her a small, quiet smile as he wiped her face. "Go on, eat it. Eat it, my child," he prodded.

Struggling with her fingers, she picked up the remnant of the toast, closed her eyes and made her first bite. Her teeth sank on the warmth of the bread, the softness of the butter, the sweetness of the jam. The creaminess was beyond what she remembered. The jam was subtle in its sweetness but it had never tasted as delicious as this before. The toast all of a sudden acquired new life with the butter and jam. As she chewed, she remembered the sound of her father's voice calling her, the waft of baked bread from the kitchen, the slurping sound she and her father made as they both licked their fingers clean after the meal, their hearty laughter as they bit into their favorite midday snack.

The toast was gone a little bit too soon. The little girl brushed the bread crumbs off her dress. Even if she was full, she felt hollow somewhere inside as if she had swallowed chunks of air which left her feeling bloated. That was it. With one bite, the last piece of toast with butter and her favorite special jam had disappeared, never to be seen or tasted again in the city criscrossed by the river, in the nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific, in the blue planet called Earth. The sweetness left a sting on her tongue.

She blinked back tears as she clambered off her chair. Her father watched her patiently. "Are you going back to the yard?" he asked.

She knew she ought to go back. Dusk should come in a while and it looked like it might rain. She needed to untie the beetles and allow them to crawl back to the tree. The dolls were probably getting dirtier by the minute and the little plastic soldiers were scattered all over the yard.

Instead she walked up to her father, clambered into his lap and began to cry as he enfolded her in his arms.

Rain began to fall on the white roof of the house with stone walls in the city criscrossed by the river, nestled in the nose-shaped island somewhere in the Pacific, in the blue planet called Earth.

Note:
Thanks to my friend Bannanna for introducing me to Kopiroti's Kaya toast (the progenitor of the toast-with-butter-and-jam concoction in this story). It's really great comfort food, especially at a time when the heart is overcome by what author William Young has called the Great Sadness. It also goes well with a mug of milk tea! A quick shout-out to Bananna's boyfriend Marbs whose weird/unique manner of eating Kaya toast is illustrated in this story.

All's Well in Opry

Aside from Christmas and my birthday month, the period from March to around May is another time of year that I look forward to because it's American Idol season. I started watching the show since the first season, got interested in the third season because of Jasmine Trias and Camille Velasco but really got hooked into it in the fourth season (where I cheered for Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood and daydreamed about Constantine Maroulis). My favorite season would have to be season 5 where I was practically nuts about more than two contestants namely, Kevin Covais (yes, I found him irresistible), Katharine McPhee, Chris Daughtry, eventual king Taylor Hicks and my season favorite Elliott Yamin. Last season started off rather slow for me as I found David Cook and David Archuleta way too talented for the other people in the competition so I did not mind missing a couple of weeks of the show. In the end though, I did rejoice when David Cook was proclaimed winner and it was only recently that I replaced "Always Be My Baby" as my phone's call alert.

Tonight was the second batch of performances for the Top 11 contestants in the show's eigth season. This season is fast climbing my own charts as a favorite because of the vast amount of talent which was conspicuously absent last season (and the season before that) along with season eight's huge dose of diversity. In the past, when I download MP3 performances of my favorites, it usually involves four singers tops. Now my regular download list consists of eight people, in my order of preference - Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert, Anoop Desai, Allison Iraheta, Scott MacIntyre, Lil Rounds, Alexis Grace and Megan Joy. But then I download more than eight files when there are good performances from the others who are not in my list.

Take Grand Opry Night for instance. I actually downloaded the MP3s of all the performances because aside from my regular list, I loved the remaining three. After all, the performances were not as bad as Michael Jackson week which saw Jasmine Murray and Jorge Nunez bid the show farewell. What I find more interesting is that my favorites did not shine tonight as much as the ones I usually ignored did.

I was fairly disappointed with Lil Rounds for starters because I really felt like she was holding back and it really affected the way she sang "Independence Day". And the comparison with Carrie Underwood's performance of the Martina McBride song in season 4 was inevitable. She unfortunately fell flat.

Another disappointment was Alexis Grace's rendition of "Jolene." For some reason, I liked Brooke White's version last season better because it was more relaxed and laid back and it seemed to me that Alexis did not look as comfortable as she did when she sang "Never Loved a Man" about four weeks ago.

Allison Iraheta did not disappoint as usual but she was not all "wow" for me tonight. The same comment goes for Scott MacIntyre with his rendition of "Wild Angels". However I am a huge fan of both their voices, especially Scott who has this ability to establish a connection with his audience despite the fact that he cannot do "goo goo eyes" with the camera ala Jason Castro (sorry Joey!). Megan Joy was still unique and interesting when she sang "Walking After Midnight" and I think her bluesy sound will carry her through this week.

My top two favorites did not shine so much tonight as they did last week. After all when the Grand Opry theme was announced, I wondered how these two would hold up. Adam Lambert was...well, he rendered me tongue-tied. The entire Middle Eastern, sitar-infused, Muse-meets-Nine Inch Nails version of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" was verging on that little grey area between strange, funny and creepy. I sat on the couch with one half of my body cringing/recoiling and the other half suffering from seizure because of endless fits of laughter. After his performance, my mother called me to ask what I liked in the guy "with a manicure." Very funny, mom. No matter what Adam does though, he is still very entertaining and his range is unbelievable. He was not as manic when it came to his vocals this week when compared to his almost screamfest version of "Black and White" and his theatrics did work out for me to some extent.

Danny Gokey also proved he was not superhuman tonight. The army of Danny haters are probably celebrating with cheese and champagne tonight so I let them be. "Jesus, Take the Wheel" is one of my favorite songs but is signature Carrie Underwood so that anyone else who sings it usually pales in comparison to the original. Danny did not actually go cyanotic but the first half of the song made me realize how much he needs to work on his low notes, especially in terms of the fluidity and support. But when the chorus swelled, I knew I had the guy I loved back even if he did resemble a polar bear tonight. To all the people who think he was screaming the chorus to smithereens, maybe the volume of your TV sets are set too high. It is called swelling and soul, ladies and gentlemen. So I call out to Joey and Kiyo, if ever you guys read this, I am not biased when it comes to Danny Gokey even if you think so.

I admit though that my real bias rests in Anoop Desai, the college student from Chapel Hill who physically resembles Slumdog Millionaire's Dev Pattel. This bias I share with my fellow Idol freak Joey. Anoop totally crashed big time in Michael Jackson week and I wanted to pull him offstage while he was dancing about with his collar raised. In class today, I told Mini I was hoping Anoop makes it and she answered something like "But he's so bad." I replied "I know but he's so cute." But tonight, he certainly proved he deserved his place in the Top 11 with his beautiful, soulful, soaring rendition of "Always On My Mind." I actually couldn't stop myself from swooning!

Matt Giraud and Kris Allen do not really rank among my favorites. I dismiss Kris as this year's Jason Castro or Ace Young with loads more talent and I love to tease his fans in my class that he sings with his jaw unhinged. But tonight, I loved his vulnerability as he sang "To Make You Feel My Love" sans his guitar. To my surprise, I realized he actually has a very nice, soothing voice and I concede that my comparisons to Jason Castro and Ace Young are misplaced.

Matt was also a pleasant surprise. He took on another Carrie Underwood song and I have to say, his slower version scored more points for me than the original. He stripped the song down to its very core with his beautiful voice and brought it to new heights at just the right point. I am not sure if he did outsing Danny as Simon claimed but I sure cannot wait to hear the studio version.

Who do I think is going home, as if my opinion matters? But then let me pretend I could control "Idol" for a moment now. I think roughneck Michael Sarver is going home...even if I like him also and he seems like a really nice guy and a cool dad at that. He gave the weakest performance tonight and he did not really stand out. But to his credit, I really love replaying his R&B, full-bodied version of "You Are Not Alone" for some reason, especially when I'm stuck in traffic.