Remembering the Summer of '09

It's June 10, Wednesday. 11:30 in the evening.

I am writing this inside my grandmother's dimly lit hospital room. The nurse has just brought in a bag of blood for her blood transfusion and while I'm typing this, I struggle with my goosebumps as I try not to look at the bag which now looks like a giant squid with only two tentacles. The summer vacation which bluntly ended last week with my disaster class grants and my hasty departure for Manila due to enrollment issues has been given a new lease of exactly a week (no) thanks to a global health issue simply labelled as A(H1N1).

This, I suppose, has given me an additional opportunity to look back and acknowledge how different and, in the words of my Tita Vilma, how diverse, the summer of 2009 has been for me. Who thought that a lot of things could happen in a span of a little over two months and I did not need to fly out of the country, soak myself in some foreign sun and eat something alien to my gastrointestinal tract just to make this summer memorable, unforgettable and, of course, sentimentally significant. I will devote this entry to make the events of recent months as vivid as the rains which kept the days drenched in a bid to work my way around the erstwhile traitor that is memory. After all, the summer of 2009 had a healthy and proportional mix of both fun and serious matters which kept me straddling that thin line between helium balloons and the bricks of inevitability.

1. Summer, sickness and role reversal

There was absolutely one reason why I had to go back to my coastal city home for the summer: to take care of my ailing grandfather. As I had written in my previous blog entries, my grandfather has been paralyzed from the waist down due to total nerve compression. He cannot get up on his own and needs to be turned every 2 hours or so and he frequently experiences excruciating pain along his lower back.
A case of complicated UTI compounds his health problems along with other ailments concerning his lungs, his liver and his heart.

What makes his situation more heartbreaking is the fact that he is still very much alert but his physical body serves to confine him to his bed. In his so-called "good days," he tries to maintain some semblance of normalcy by still going to his office and personally attends to a lot of work-related problems.

The entire summer saw me practically living in the hospital as my grandfather was wheeled in and out of admission with a certain degree of frequency that he eventually earned the monicker "balikbayan" among the nurses and staff. To add a more interesting angle to our hospital stay, my grandmother was also hospitalized within a week after my arrival due to pneumonia. She was allowed to share a room with my grandfather and she often walked around the room while dragging her IV tubes after her like a steel-and-plastic Christmas tree.
As if having two patients was not enough to give me a crash course on practical nursing, my own mother was hospitalized a few weeks after my grandmother got better! She had severe abdominal pain due to obstruction which in turn was attributed to intestinal adhesions. It got so bad to the point that her consulting physicians (a.k.a. my dad and his doctor-friend) were contemplating surgery. Everyday for about a week, I had to traverse ten rooms just to check on my grandfather and walk all the way back to my mother (who was curled like a ball in her bed due to severe abdominal pain) to give her a quick report on how he was doing.
The summer went by like a routine but we did our best to make the days a little cheerier. Who knew that white could be such a drab color? During instances when our patients would be napping, we would catch a couple of Pinoy flicks or other English titles that I missed. Every so often, my sister and I would go for a quick break by going out of the hospital to commit the greatest form of gastronomic sacrilege in the history of fast food - washing down Jollibee french fries with a McDonald's Coke float. Of course, my karma came in the form of a noted increase in the size of my thighs. I also met a deluge of wonderful people who had the gentlest of hearts and the brightest of smiles (such as a wonderful person named Lani from rehab who is my grandfather's therapist and this nurse whose name I forget who paid extra attention to my mother when she was in pain).
However there is ont really good thing about this summer that saw the reign of the antiseptic. I got to be part of a great rigodon of roles in my family. My grandparents and my mother had spent a significant portion of their lives taking care of me and fretting over me when I got sick and now it was time to switch seats. This time, it was our turn to give back after many years of simply receiving. Most days were difficult, especially when you find yourself sitting beside helplessness as you watch a face contort in pain. For my part, I found that there was a profound sense of joy and fulfillment in keeping watch over someone who used to keep an eye out for me and a infusion of courage and wisdom in knowing that despite the presence of pain and difficulty, there is a beautiful rainbow to look forward to.
2. American Idol Upset

This season, I was really, really, really rooting for Danny Gokey with a lunacy beyond that of a normal 25-year old. I was so upset over his failure to make it to the finals that I didn't watch the elimination results show (I had gotten wind of the bad news earlier in the day thanks to a friend) and I made my way through the rest of the day in a daze. The finale night was a bit anti-climactic but Kris gave Adam a good whallop. Kris Allen's victory over the flamboyant Adam Lambert was a shocker but overall, it was the best results show I had ever seen from one of the most talented batches in the show's history. Now I'll just sit pretty and wait patiently for Danny and Allison Iraheta's solo albums.
3. Betty's First Birthday

I was so excited when I found out my best friend Doi's daughter Sariah Beatriz was turning a year old. After all, Betty was the first baby to be born within my circle of closest friends and I had always known that Doi was ecstatic about being a mother. Betty is growing up to be an intelligent, curious and precocious little girl with the best comedic timing for a toddler. I sure cannot wait to see where life will take her - and her proud parents too.
4. Encore for the Ballerina

About ten years ago, my sister was deadset on pursuing a career as a professional ballet dancer until she realized it was not the best path for her to take. When she decided to stop dancing, I felt as if I lived in a totally different world. After all, my sister had been dancing ever since she was five and the sudden disappearance of smelly toe shoes, rolls of Leukoplast, gel bottles, Spraynet canisters, holey tights and old Tchaikovsky CDs took some time to get used to.
However, several doors have been reopened for her to enter the world of dance once more. For instance, this summer she had been hoping for a much quieter existence but after an invitation to join her former ballet teacher's summer dance recital was afforded to her, she immediately accepted it. After all, it was a chance for her not just to do something which she has always wanted to do but it was also a new opportunity to renew ties with close friends, a couple of which have gone on to pursue careers as dancers with Ballet Philippines and Ballet Manila.
Watching her do her trademark turns on that stage was like a breath of fresh air. My sister's love for dancing has a raw intensity which is rarely found in a lot of dancers. I know parting from her toe shoes was a major heartbreak as she lived, slept, ate and walked in the world of pirouettes, grand jetaes, arabesques, pas de deuxs and other fancy French words. She had a love-hate relationship with dancing. She revelled in the artistic fulfillment and the applause but struggled with many things - her weight, her so-called "bad feet," numerous injuries and her self-esteem which she had lost many times but she has thankfully regained through time. When she is on that stage, there is a ferocity at the edge of her smile and a happiness that is unmistakeably clear. I am glad that at this point in her life, she has been given a new lease in her chosen craft with a deeper, more profound reason for making those splits in mid-air: her faith.
5. Book dates
I decided that this summer was going to be the time for my dates with my favorite writers. I had originally scheduled reading about two to three books a week, a goal which I never followed because of my hospital duties. During the entire course of the summer, I only managed to read a measly four books, one of which was a repeat. I did get to finish Audrey Niffenegger's "The Time Traveller's Wife" which I thoroughly enjoyed because of its direct but intricate prose. I also read "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown just so I could watch the movie without committing the common mortal sin of book-to-movie projects. I'd say I enjoyed this book far better than "The Da Vinci Code" (which I read in secret during one of my MS classes) because of an interest in the works of Bernini and Galileo (and Milton too!) which figured prominently in the book. I also did my nth revisit of "Pride and Prejudice" which is my favorite Austen work, no matter that my professed fascination for the novel has made my friend Edmund conclude that I, indeed, am a girl. No summer would be complete without a date with Nicholas Sparks which I did through "The Lucky One." The novel was trademark Sparks, nothing fancy or different but still heart-tugging. I did get a kick out of imagining Adrien Brody as Logan and Amy Adams as Beth, the main protagonists, even if the book descriptions did not match any of them with precision.
Right now, I am in the middle of Jodi Picoult's "Change of Heart" which I found to be thoroughly interesting (as always with anything by the author) but the rest of my summer days were filled with other important things as well, so I had to part ways with the sheets of paper just for a while.
6. Getting the perfect summer tan
Of course, being a severe lover of water, summer means hitting the waves and getting pruny while baking my skin to a crisp. Despite the hospital shifts, I did manage to squeeze in a bunch of trips to the beach. During the long Labor Day weekend, I joined Ate Carol, Iting, Ross, Kuya Stan and Mark in Boracay. The rains were torrential and made the 6-hour bus ride to Caticlan dreary. Snorkelling was a challenge since I felt like a cork bobbing helplessly in the water and it did not help that my life jacket's styro packs were getting dislocated, no thanks to the huge waves. When we got out of the water, Kuya Stan even told me he was going to sell his "uber slightly used snorkel." Sitting on the boat when we went island hopping felt like being on board a more subdued thrill ride as our boat crashed into the waves every so often. I tried parasailing for the first time with Ate Carol and it felt wonderfully relaxing as I floated along, sandwiched between the sapphire sea and the blue sky. The bumpy speedboat ride though to get to the parasailing spot stress tested my inner balance (and my derriere's capacity to absorb direct impact) and I found myself on the verge of motion sickness which I rarely experience. In this Boracay visit, I also found a lot of satisfaction when I was not in the water thanks to my early morning walk alone on the beach and another early morning trek to Boracay's highest point with Ate Carol, Iting and Mark.

For a quick beach fix within the confines of the city, another destination was Anhawan Resort in Oton. The sand was nowhere as fine as Boracay or the water as blue but it still was the perfect place to relax and unwind. As a matter of fact, Manang Gracious and I found it to be the perfect spot to take some snaps.

7. Visitors and tour guides
This summer, we welcomed a bunch of visitors into our home. Early on, my sister's friend Maricor had dropped by for a quick visit. I enjoyed having her around since she is as crazy as my sister and has the same adventurous streak too. Even if she technically does not fall under the category of a visitor, I was glad that Manang Apple was also home for a couple of months.
Faye, a friend from GCF in Ortigas, was also in town for a teaching stint. After a number of postponements, we finally did get to meet up and I thoroughly enjoyed being some sort of a tour guide for her. She told me she had not been to a lot of places around the city so I decided to take her some place outside of the city for lunch. We had our meal in my current favorite food joint - Allan's in Oton. It turns out that Faye loves oysters (and seafood!) as much as I do so I ordered two plates of Allan's trademark baked oysters (one for each of us) along with fish and squid. Oh boy, did we wipe our plates clean!
I also discovered that Faye had a flair for architecture and in my part of the world, we had our fair share of old churches, Spanish-era houses and other interesting buildings. I took Faye to St. Anne's Church in Molo, the sinamay dealer's house in Arevalo, Nelly Garden and the other homes owned by the Lopezes along Luna Street and Central Philippine University where we had an interesting picture taken near the University Church by mounting Faye's camera on two monobloc chairs stacked on top of each other. I tried my best to play the part of Faye's tour guide, offering bits and pieces of information which (hopefully) only a local would know. If only we had more time, I would have wanted to bring her to the Jaro Cathedral, San Jose Church, Downtown, Fort San Pedro and the beautiful stone churches in Miag-ao and Tigbauan. That made me realize that there were actually a lot of things which visitors would find interesting about my home city and I thought I should set aside some time to reacquaint myself with a place I may have given inadequate attention to.
By the end of May, my family and I shared our home with someone we had not seen in eight long years - my cousin James from Houston. I've seen him in four different instances in his life: as a three-year old with (in his words) a temper, as a hyperactive ten-year old when I visited Texas, as a lanky fourteen-year old piano whiz and now, a 22-year old college graduate. James has grown so much through the years, both in terms of height and maturity, but he still retains so many traits which make him endearing. His sense of humor has remained intact and he still cracks the craziest (and most sarcastic) of jokes. He is great with conversations (which could stretch until way past 2 A.M.) and is very honest and straightforward. He has yet to prove that he is indeed a "dog whisperer" but he has sure made a convert out of me as far as the TV show "The Office" is concerned. All in all, I sure enjoyed having a "younger brother" around.

8. Love in the month of May

After eleven years of being together, my cousin Nene Loida and her boyfriend Manong George were finally married! Whew, I couldn't believe they had been together that long! Her wedding was originally scheduled around August but because of my grandfather's condition, the ceremony was moved to May. She asked me to be a candle sponsor and I had to go on a crash diet in order to fit into a gown I wore eight years ago. Within less than two weeks, I quit the diet and instead asked a seamstress to transform the gown into a corset so that I could adjust it according to my current size.
The wedding was intimate but there was enough room for spontaneity to become the perfect family affair. The wedding reception ended with the members of the entourage hitting the dance floor with our own version of "Jai Ho" and as I watched my newest cousin-in-law twirl Nene Loida around, I truly felt happy that she had found the person she was to spend the rest of her life with.
Love and all its intricacies is truly a lesson that one learns through time. "I love you" is not an expression to be thrown around casually as the word signifies more than just emotion but a deep-seated passion for the best to be brought out of every person who comes within contact and for complete acceptance to be a natural consequence. Inasmuch as love is a word pregnant with immense sacrifice and responsibility, it is interesting to note that it usually starts with nothing grandiose - a glance here, a smile there, a quiet conversation in the silence of the night - all in the most unexpected of places or situations. Thus getting to know the other person is actually an adventure in itself already. Only time can tell where everything is headed but sometimes, even if the story has yet to reach its ending, the journey itself is beautiful enough to be retold, the memory is special enough to be revisited and the lessons learned are too precious to be forgotten.
This may be my girly side rearing her head again but in the name of pink unicorns, I do hope for a happy ending everytime.
9. Revisiting Mangatarem
James and I went on a road trip with Tita Vilma and Tito Danny to the hometown of our respective parents. It was one thing to go back to a place which holds a significant part of my identity. It is another thing to take that trip back with one person who has never been there before.
I was surprised to know that James had never been to Mangatarem before. For my part, I don't get to visit my father's hometown very often but I had accumulated a significant amount of memories from the place - flying my first kite there at age three, playing with plastic teacups in the front yard, dangling from a tree branch in the front yard, sitting beside my Mamang and watching her unbraid her long hair, attending Simbang Gabi with my entire family for my Papang's 90th birthday and falling asleep half the time because I couldn't understand a shred of Pangasinan. The minute I entered their house in Torres Bugallon with half a Calasiao puto still in my mouth, I could hear Papang singing "Pilipinas Kong Mahal" and my grandmother reciting "O Captain, My Captain." Their scent lingered about the house and even if I didn't spend a huge fraction of my life here, I still felt like this place was home. I took James to the second floor where he saw his mom's graduation picture along with our other aunts and uncles.
Standing before my grandparents' graves, I wondered what they'd tell me and James if they had the chance to talk to us. I'd want to know what they thought of us now that we were no longer children, now that we were trying to find our own respective places in this planet. I would want to know if they would be proud of what we have become because I am truly proud to be called their granddaughter.

10. Faith
Before proceeding to Mangatarem, we first dropped by Manaoag for James to start with his novena. I took in the quietness of the church and started to pray as I sat beside Tita Vilma. When I was done, I looked around and saw people on their knees with prayer booklets, rosaries, candles. Their eyes were closed, their hands were clasped. I can only surmise as to what went through their minds at that moment but there was one thing I was certain of: people cling to their faith in times when the sky is overcast.

Overall, the past couple of months have been a test of faith for me and my family. I practically have dog-eared the page of my Bible which contains Romans 8:28. The Lord works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. In the moments of laughter and the sunniest of days, God has been so good. In the midst of the difficulty, the frustration, the grief and the disappointment, God is still good. It is a truth which I have come to comprehend with greater understanding in the past couple of months. I have faith in God's goodness, in God's promises and in God's nature. He is good all the time and every time, through rainclouds or sunshine, through the days of light and night, through the moments when the snow comes in spring and the rains come in summer.

Of Driving, Doi, Disco, Danny, Diets and a Despedida

My sister got her DRIVING permit today. Actually it's just a student's permit, her second try after she completely ignored her first one years ago and it lapsed into nothingness. Anyhow, it entitles her to use the car in the city's main thoroughfares as long as she has a licensed driver with her. She took the car out today and drove from my mom's office to our house. I would say that was the longest car ride I have been on although she was quick to point out it was as scary for her when I was learning how to drive myself. I made a mental thought to wear a neck brace the next time she sits in front of the wheel as she slams on the brakes too hard and I'm afraid of snapping my neck off my head. Given our current hospital engagements, none of us are available to teach her how to drive so my parents think she should attend DRIVING school. My sister is horrified at the thought while I told her to cheer up because she will at least get some kind of formal education in terms of DRIVING. But then I do shudder at the thought of having some complete stranger teach me how to drive. The road, with all its hazards, is enough to make me nervous. Add a complete stranger in the front seat and the pressure mounts. In the meantime, I feel there is a need to warn pedestrians and other fellow drivers that my sister is bound to hit the road anytime thus they should keep their eyes peeled for the newest road menace!
Last Sunday, my best friend DOI's daughter Sariah Beatriz turned a year old! I asked to be relieved of my hospital duties on that afternoon and I drove myself to Betty's party in their home in Leganes. DOI has been married two years but I still cannot believe she's a mother! When I see Betty, I cannot believe that this precocious little girl came from her! Betty had absolutely no stranger anxiety (just like her mother) and even if all she could muster were syllables, she yakked on throughout the entire afternoon as if everything she spouted was comprehensible. I gave Betty two books for her birthday and she ought to get used to that because I'll be giving her books birthday after birthday until DOI tells me to stop. Watching my friend fuss over her little daughter was something I wouldn't trade for the world and I am glad she is with two more people she can really call her own.

It's DISCO night in American Idol! The night wasn't as hopping as I expected it to be and to be honest, I did get a bit disappointed as the night was not marked with the 70s spirit. But tonight's show bolstered my earlier remark that this year's batch of contestants is indeed oozing with talent. I really love them all and everytime someone gets booted off the show, I feel really bad about it. For some reason, none of them really performed to the level that knocked my eardrums to outer space. Adam Lambert's performance was good but it still couldn't hold a light to what "Tracks of My Tears" did for me. As for DANNY Gokey, I love him no matter what he does ("bilang fan niya ako" to quote Joey) and I do agree with Paula that his voice is sexy. My mom derives great joy from making fun of DANNY and watching my face crumple like crepe paper. I just want to see him, Allison and Adam in the Top 3 and from that point onward, I'll be as objective as I can.
I hate DIETS. I've never actually tried one but the thought of not being able to eat anything my stomach yearns for is disheartening! Now it looks like I'll actually have to start going on a DIET. My cousin Loida told me I'll be part of her wedding entourage. Her wedding was originally scheduled on August but because of my grandfather's health, she and her fiance George decided to move the wedding to an earlier date. She asked me to use the gown I wore in my grandparents' wedding anniversary so that I'd go with the motif. The thing is, I last wore that gown EIGHT YEARS AGO! I tried fitting the dress again tonight and I felt like Scarlett O'Hara in her corset with twice the pulling. Yikes! The wiry things in the gown were sticking into my sides like chopsticks and skewering me! Double yikes! Maybe I could get through the wedding without moving if that were possible. The reception, however, will be at Roadhouse where the alfredo is creamy, the fish fillet is delightful and the ox tongue melts in your mouth. Gosh, I'm feeling so down. I wanna rummage through the ref for some raisinets now.
It's 11:15 according to my watch which means one thing - Manang Apple is flying over the South China Sea bound for Hong Kong where she will take another flight to Heathrow. My sister and I organized an impromptu DESPEDIDA for her yesterday. We had a huge pizza from Dos Marias, spaghetti in a bilao and chicken wings. I wish she didn't have to go back. Her three children obviously have the same thing in mind also. Everytime she comes home, she is met by great excitement and anticipation but when the time comes for her to leave, the events are nothing short of heartbreaking. I do hope the heartbreak and the DESPEDIDAs all come to an end very soon and that she can finally go home - to wherever her children are.

A Night of Reel Music

I love music and I love movies. Thus a fusion of both is always a treat. I am hoping "Idol" will have the Broadway theme again this season just like last year but while I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that, I'll take a night of movie theme songs anytime. With the range of choices, a contestant is bound to end up with either a jackpot or a huge mistake in terms of song choice.

Tonight, I don't think Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud fared very well. Lil sang Bette Midler's "The Rose" and I would say it was not as bad a song choice as the judges thought it was but her performance was rather rough. She was going off-key in one too many places and I seriously thought that in one way or another, it was like "Surrender" all over again in the sense that I thought she was having difficulty with the song. Neither did Matt do well with "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" from Don Juan de Marco. He seemed to have vocally tangled himself up in all the runs he was doing and like Lil, he was always going off pitch. The bridge did not sound too well with him sounding like he was struggling with the pitch, the tune and even his runs. I'm not sure who among them both would end up going home since Matt is not as popular as the other contestants and I am not sure if after weeks of Lil not performing up to judges' expectations, her fanbase is still pretty strong.

Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey fall into my "okay" group. Kris did a song called "Falling Slowly" which I had never heard before. I have never really been a huge fan of Kris's voice and for me, this song didn't really bring out the side of his vocal ability which I liked. I think if he sang it in a lower pitch, I might have liked his performance.

Allison and Danny sang two of my favorite love songs. Allison picked the Aerosmith power ballad "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" from the movie Armageddon. I really love the original version so I tend to make comparisons. On its own merits, Allison's performance was pretty good. She now ranks among my top 3 favorites and her voice literally blows me away. I just had a problem with the fact that I have heard one too many versions of this song and Allison's performance was not exactly a standout. Danny sang "Endless Love," which, as I said, is really one of my ultimate favorites. He started okay although at one point, he did go off key. I loved his emotional connection with the audience (and did I say, with me?) and that really is his asset. I was glad that he did not depart from the original version since I am very conservative when it comes to my old favorites. However as much as it was his boon, it also was his bane. The performance came across as very safe and nothing extraordinary so, like Simon, I too was disappointed.

Adam Lambert was, once again, in a world of his own as he shattered through the night of ballads with "Born to be Wild." The night saw him literally jumping back to his histrionics but I was glad he did tone down the screaming tonight. But then the man is, as I have said one to many times, an entertainer and he makes every bit of radiation exposure from the TV all worth it.

My favorite performance of the evening belongs to Anoop Desai who sang "I Do It For You" from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. This song holds a particularly soft spot for my sister and me since Robin Hood was the movie which marked our first jump from Betamax to laser disc. We both loved singing along to the song (with the matching air guitar playing) before we got to the opening credits of the film. Anoop's rendition of the song was, in a word, beautiful. I was crushing the pillow I was hugging into nothingness. His voice was smooth and rich and I totally and absolutely loved his version of the song. I HEART ANOOP again!

iTuned In (As Usual)

So Wednesday night comes again - that time of the week when I shut out the world for two whole hours and it's just me, the couch, the TV and my text buddy Joey. But first a quick rewind to last week. Motown night was a blast and I still couldn't get over the performances. I absolutely loved Matt Giraud's soulful take on Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" but top prize went to Adam Lambert's subdued and controlled rendition of "Tracks of My Tears." Michael Sarver did not give the worst performance (that distinction goes to Megan Joy who gave me ear hemorrhage if there is such a specie) but it was no surprise that it was the oil rig worker, and not the font designer, who was sent home.

With iTunes night, there was definitely no dearth in terms of song choices. As long as the song was a top download in the iTunes register, it was up for grabs. In addition, this was another opportunity for them to sound relevant and contemporary and also for the viewers to get an idea as to what kind of singer they will be if they do make it to the recording biz. But with a range of songs that wide to choose from, it can also work to one's disadvantage as it can give hints as to the singer's creativity and flexibility as a performer. From my perspective it is also important to pick a song which showcases the singer's range and personality but still remain distinct from the original artist's version.

With nine people left onstage, it becomes easier to categorize the performances. I'll start with the "middle 3" a.k.a the ones who sang all right - Lil Rounds, Allison Iraheta and Scott MacIntyre.

Scott's vocals have never really been overly impressive but I have always liked his voice quality. Singing "Just the Way You Are" brought that out rather well. He was not amazing but his performance was very good. Allison is also one of my favorites and her rocker chick getup was not as distracting as the judges (or Joey, for the matter) thought. I also loved her song pick (No Doubt's "Don't Speak" which is one of my sister's favorite songs) but she did sound a little too much like Gwen Stefani so I don't think she brought anything new to it. As for Lil, she is (still) frustrating. I loved her audition and I also thoroughly enjoyed her Top 36 performance but everything has been sort of downhill from that point. I am still waiting for her to take one song and rip it into a million of shreds because with a voice as big as that and a personality to boot, she can do it. That perfect song just seems elusive for Lil Rounds at this point. Celine Dion's "Surrender" was not right for her. There were times when she sounded a little too nasal for comfort and other times when she seemed to struggle. She did soar on the big notes though and I think that, and the swooping camera, worked to her advantage.

The "bottom" three a.k.a. the endangered ones would include Megan Joy, Matt Giraud and Anoop Desai. After two weeks of making me swoon like a schoolgirl, everything came to a screeching halt for Anoop. He chose to sing Usher's "Caught Up" and did he have huge shoes to fill! Usher is the total performer and is smooth in terms of both the dance moves and the vocals. Anoop, for the life of me, has the voice but not the groove. I did not get any bit of that toughie, gangsterish gloating (which we last saw in his performance of "Beat It" three weeks ago) and I don't think it worked to make his performance any better.
Megan Joy was a letdown. Last week she was not good at all. She didn't hit the high notes that she was supposed to hit at all and she was sort of getting all over the place. This week was no improvement. It wasn't as horrible as last week in terms of technique but her performance was so boring I felt my eyes drooping. I think it is about time Megan Joy goes home. I will miss her spunk when she's gone, though.

Matt Giraud also was a disappointment. He decided to go the alternative route this week, taking on The Fray's "You Found Me." That brought me back to the first week when he performed a Coldplay song which was not good. I don't like it at all when Matt starts snarling because he sounds much better when he's all smooth and suave. He sounded A LOT like the original and that, for me, took some points off him.

Now that leaves me with my "top" 3 - Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.

Danny didn't deviate so much from The Temptations' original version of "Get Ready" last week. Neither did he sneak in his signature runs - or do anything radically different - in his rendition of Rascal Flatt's "What Hurts the Most" this week. But what made his performance endearing was just the right blend of emotion and power which he injected into the song. He did veer off-key about twice in the course of the song but he more than made up for it. With his unique tone, he was able to make the song his own. I think he should take one week off the power hook and just croon to one sentimental ballad with all vulnerability.

Adam was, in two words, a showman. I love Adam better when he's soft and subdued (like I previously mentioned, his "Tracks of My Tears" performance was simply beautiful). This week, he chose Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music." Joey texted me, "Why is it that it's okay when Adam Lambert gets indulgent?" Maybe, that's because that's when he's most entertaining. Not his best but entertaining. I would prefer that he left his histrionics to the dressing room but I guess since people know he's a theater dude (he was understudy for Fiyero in LA's production of "Wicked"), they allow him to be flamboyant. I just need to turn the volume down a bit low lest my eardrums explode. But over all, I really did enjoy watching him work up the stage.

The night did not end without seeing me become a Kris Allen convert. I seriously doubted the abilities of this worship leader from Arkansas in the initial stage of the competition, but tonight, he really showed his prowess with "Ain't No Sunshine". The arrangement was perfect and his performance was equally great. He is not as vocally gifted as my other top contenders but he picks songs which best show his abilities.

All's Well in Opry

Aside from Christmas and my birthday month, the period from March to around May is another time of year that I look forward to because it's American Idol season. I started watching the show since the first season, got interested in the third season because of Jasmine Trias and Camille Velasco but really got hooked into it in the fourth season (where I cheered for Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood and daydreamed about Constantine Maroulis). My favorite season would have to be season 5 where I was practically nuts about more than two contestants namely, Kevin Covais (yes, I found him irresistible), Katharine McPhee, Chris Daughtry, eventual king Taylor Hicks and my season favorite Elliott Yamin. Last season started off rather slow for me as I found David Cook and David Archuleta way too talented for the other people in the competition so I did not mind missing a couple of weeks of the show. In the end though, I did rejoice when David Cook was proclaimed winner and it was only recently that I replaced "Always Be My Baby" as my phone's call alert.

Tonight was the second batch of performances for the Top 11 contestants in the show's eigth season. This season is fast climbing my own charts as a favorite because of the vast amount of talent which was conspicuously absent last season (and the season before that) along with season eight's huge dose of diversity. In the past, when I download MP3 performances of my favorites, it usually involves four singers tops. Now my regular download list consists of eight people, in my order of preference - Danny Gokey, Adam Lambert, Anoop Desai, Allison Iraheta, Scott MacIntyre, Lil Rounds, Alexis Grace and Megan Joy. But then I download more than eight files when there are good performances from the others who are not in my list.

Take Grand Opry Night for instance. I actually downloaded the MP3s of all the performances because aside from my regular list, I loved the remaining three. After all, the performances were not as bad as Michael Jackson week which saw Jasmine Murray and Jorge Nunez bid the show farewell. What I find more interesting is that my favorites did not shine tonight as much as the ones I usually ignored did.

I was fairly disappointed with Lil Rounds for starters because I really felt like she was holding back and it really affected the way she sang "Independence Day". And the comparison with Carrie Underwood's performance of the Martina McBride song in season 4 was inevitable. She unfortunately fell flat.

Another disappointment was Alexis Grace's rendition of "Jolene." For some reason, I liked Brooke White's version last season better because it was more relaxed and laid back and it seemed to me that Alexis did not look as comfortable as she did when she sang "Never Loved a Man" about four weeks ago.

Allison Iraheta did not disappoint as usual but she was not all "wow" for me tonight. The same comment goes for Scott MacIntyre with his rendition of "Wild Angels". However I am a huge fan of both their voices, especially Scott who has this ability to establish a connection with his audience despite the fact that he cannot do "goo goo eyes" with the camera ala Jason Castro (sorry Joey!). Megan Joy was still unique and interesting when she sang "Walking After Midnight" and I think her bluesy sound will carry her through this week.

My top two favorites did not shine so much tonight as they did last week. After all when the Grand Opry theme was announced, I wondered how these two would hold up. Adam Lambert was...well, he rendered me tongue-tied. The entire Middle Eastern, sitar-infused, Muse-meets-Nine Inch Nails version of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" was verging on that little grey area between strange, funny and creepy. I sat on the couch with one half of my body cringing/recoiling and the other half suffering from seizure because of endless fits of laughter. After his performance, my mother called me to ask what I liked in the guy "with a manicure." Very funny, mom. No matter what Adam does though, he is still very entertaining and his range is unbelievable. He was not as manic when it came to his vocals this week when compared to his almost screamfest version of "Black and White" and his theatrics did work out for me to some extent.

Danny Gokey also proved he was not superhuman tonight. The army of Danny haters are probably celebrating with cheese and champagne tonight so I let them be. "Jesus, Take the Wheel" is one of my favorite songs but is signature Carrie Underwood so that anyone else who sings it usually pales in comparison to the original. Danny did not actually go cyanotic but the first half of the song made me realize how much he needs to work on his low notes, especially in terms of the fluidity and support. But when the chorus swelled, I knew I had the guy I loved back even if he did resemble a polar bear tonight. To all the people who think he was screaming the chorus to smithereens, maybe the volume of your TV sets are set too high. It is called swelling and soul, ladies and gentlemen. So I call out to Joey and Kiyo, if ever you guys read this, I am not biased when it comes to Danny Gokey even if you think so.

I admit though that my real bias rests in Anoop Desai, the college student from Chapel Hill who physically resembles Slumdog Millionaire's Dev Pattel. This bias I share with my fellow Idol freak Joey. Anoop totally crashed big time in Michael Jackson week and I wanted to pull him offstage while he was dancing about with his collar raised. In class today, I told Mini I was hoping Anoop makes it and she answered something like "But he's so bad." I replied "I know but he's so cute." But tonight, he certainly proved he deserved his place in the Top 11 with his beautiful, soulful, soaring rendition of "Always On My Mind." I actually couldn't stop myself from swooning!

Matt Giraud and Kris Allen do not really rank among my favorites. I dismiss Kris as this year's Jason Castro or Ace Young with loads more talent and I love to tease his fans in my class that he sings with his jaw unhinged. But tonight, I loved his vulnerability as he sang "To Make You Feel My Love" sans his guitar. To my surprise, I realized he actually has a very nice, soothing voice and I concede that my comparisons to Jason Castro and Ace Young are misplaced.

Matt was also a pleasant surprise. He took on another Carrie Underwood song and I have to say, his slower version scored more points for me than the original. He stripped the song down to its very core with his beautiful voice and brought it to new heights at just the right point. I am not sure if he did outsing Danny as Simon claimed but I sure cannot wait to hear the studio version.

Who do I think is going home, as if my opinion matters? But then let me pretend I could control "Idol" for a moment now. I think roughneck Michael Sarver is going home...even if I like him also and he seems like a really nice guy and a cool dad at that. He gave the weakest performance tonight and he did not really stand out. But to his credit, I really love replaying his R&B, full-bodied version of "You Are Not Alone" for some reason, especially when I'm stuck in traffic.

Seriously Freaked

It feels a bit different to be involved in something mundane for a change...especially since my summer break still has me running around restless. But now, I can at least allocate some time to allow my freaky nature to rear its naughty head once in a while. So here goes...just me on being seriously freaked!

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She's muh gurl and she'll always be THE gurl!
I am just seriously freaked that Melinda, MELINDA of all people(!), gets the cut in this week's American Idol. No, seriously freaked is not the right thing to say. I think it would be more appropriate to say that I am seriously bereaved I almost feel like reaching for the lacy black veil/shawl nestled within the confines of my mother's closet. What was America possibly thinking - and hearing - last night?! Muh gurl Melinda is the bomb and she deserves that place in the finals - every inch of that stage and every watt of that spotlight! I have liked her and Jordin the most since their respective first auditions but I have to say I have always liked Melinda a bit more than Jordin. Jordin is bubbly, young, pretty and has great pipes but Melinda can sing any song into smithereens. I mean, she blows familiar songs apart and recreates them into something she can claim as her own. And she does all this without a bubble of air in her head and that sincere smile on her face and that makes her totally endearing. My mom and I had it in our guts that she was going to be the next American Idol but all it took was one wrong click in the Yahoo homepage and my cutesy hope gets slashed to bits.
I had been hoping for a Jordin-Melinda slugfest come Wednesday next week. Blake was pretty good last night but he just paled in comparison to the two. Blake is a magician and a circus all rolled into one but he often sings flat (in terms of tremolo and pitch) and his beat boxing becomes his only saving grace.
Melinda, in my opinion, is the overall entertainer without the unnecessary frills and the magic wand. She is nothing but pure unadulterated talent who narrowly missed the standing ovation she justly deserves.

Melinda Doolittle will always be THE gurl to beat!
P.S. If Blake gets the American Idol next week, I think I'll be crawling on the floor with a broken heart. My mother has just threatened to boycott 'Idol' following the Melinda cast-off.
P.P.S. At around this time last year, Elliott Yamin made me cry like a baby. Tonight, he did it again.
P.P.S. Paula looked awfully funny dancing to Maroon 5. Maybe it was because of her dress but from the back, she seemed to looked like Whistler's mother.

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He's back and the wait is killing me (pun intended)!
After two years of contenting myself with my MISA DVD replays (please don't ask how many times because I have lost count) and staring at his picture, my favorite Korean actor and one-half ultimate dream squeeze So Ji Sub has just finished his mandatory military service at the district office of Mapo in Seoul. When I was in Seoul two years ago with my dad, I remember wandering across the street from the Mapo District Office by mistake. I still clung to some remnant of sanity, dignity and embarrassment so I quickly ditched the idea of walking into the office, kidnapping So Ji Sub and stuffing him into my luggage with his arms and legs sure to rip the zippers apart. The minute I got home, I almost got clobbered by Sue who did nothing but growl at my face for about five minutes.
Ji-Sub has is about to begin work on a new series with Ji Jin-Hee (of Jewel in the Palace and Spring Days) called Cain and Abel wherein both actors play brothers separated when they were children. Jin-Hee is the older brother who grows up to become a detective hunting down an assassin which actually turns out to be his long-lost younger brother played by Ji-Sub. Well, like I was telling a friend of mine from Singapore who also loves Ji-Sub, I've always thought he'd make one fine, convincing psychopath, killer eyes and all.
Now I'll have something to look forward to on the tube!
For the meantime, MISA will more than suffice. *hugs box of tissues and thinks of taking heart reinforcement pills*

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He's so fine and soon the world will see why!
The other half of my ultimate dream squeeze a.k.a Mando-pop star Wang Lee Hom has just embarked on his first international big screen venture - with no less than the acclaimed Ang Lee at the helm of the movie project.

The cast of Lust, Caution with director Ang Lee: (from left to right) Wang Lee Hom, Tang Wei and Tony Leung

A couple of months ago, I heard that Ang Lee was going to direct the movie adaptation of the popular Chinese short story by Eileen Chang called Lust, Caution (�F.‰ú) and that Tony Leung (of In the Mood for Love fame) had been cast as the lead actor. Leung plays government official Yee who works for the puppet government of Japan-controlled Shanghai during the 40s.

Weeks later, in the middle of a rather crazy week, I came across an online article that Wang Lee Hom had been chosen to play the second lead actor and the news got my brain functional again. Wang was to play Kuang Yu-Min, a student, revolutionary and boyfriend to Wang Jia-Zhi (played by newcomer Tang Wei), a spy sent to lure Yee into an assassination trap. I don't know how Lee Hom will do since he's more of a singer than an actor and on top of that, he'll be working side by side with one heck of a pillar Tony Leung!
Today, while acting as travel agent for my entire family, I decided to check if there were pictures from the set of the movie and lo and behold! There were pictures and a link to the first trailer too! I need to get used to Lee Hom's shorter, tidier "Jose Rizal" 'do (which I'm sure his mother would love) but he still looks mighty fine, I didn't even mind that he did not release a new album in December of last year, unlike what he had done for the past two years.


Hmmm...now my sister's birth month has become a bit more interesting this year.

I could get used to Lee Hom looking like this. ^_^