Second Lesson of Yesterweek: A Heart-ful of a Lesson

Just four days after my experience with the stylist from Deep Six, I met up with some college classmates in Megamall. A good number of us showed up in Kenny Rogers for dinner along with a teacher of ours. I won't name him for fear that it might be intrusion to his privacy. I went with my perennial companion Anna. To add to the already stacking comments that Anna and I look alike, Leigh's boyfriend said that we could be mistaken as sisters. We have been labelled as cousins and the sister comment is particularly common. Anna and I are just waiting for the day that someone declares we're twins.

After dinner, Teacher suggested we go watch a movie. It was getting late so the others decided to leave. I opted to go for the movie along with Affie, Ken, Diane and Teddy. We wanted to watch The Skeleton Key but it was not yet being shown. The bowling lanes were practically overflowing with people. So we decided to go to the Megastrip, have some coffee or dessert and talk.

We found a spot in an already bursting-at-the-seams Seattle's Best: a small table with two chairs. The Megastrip is not usually teeming with a crowd this big even on weekends but on that day, Parokya ni Edgar was doing a free concert in the parking lot in front of Seattle's Best. A little while later, some people vacated their seats and we occupied a much bigger space consisting of two tables and just enough chairs for the six of us to do what we came to do - have coffee or some dessert and talk.

That's when I learned another lesson from Teacher who I have since then associated with an alter-ego I call The Guru of Dating.

The Guru said that there was such a thing called theory on dating.

A theory on dating was interesting to learn, especially after the concept was introduced to me at the age of 10, credits going to Francine Pascal and her whole band from Sweet Valley.

So the six of us sat there, with Parokya wailing "First Day Funk" in the background, as The Guru shared with us the theory of dating which, he said, was related to him by a friend.

One of the first premises of the theory of dating states that if you, for example, feel good about your date and enjoyed it immensely, chances are, your date also shared the same sentiments.

For instance, you say something to your date because you think he would like it or you feel it would amuse him. The truth of the matter is, if your date really did like what you said or truly felt amused by it, chances are, he would try to give the proper response. The proper response would consist of your date throwing back an interesting reaction, story or comment which he thinks would give you the same level of amusement you gave him, or even higher. You receive the response and enjoy it immensely so you return the favor once more. So the entire date goes on like a volleyball game - the ball getting tossed back and forth between the net as two teams try to do their best to get the ball to the opposite side with as much interesting flair as possible.

Which is why pretending to enjoy a date is a particularly difficult feat. Your date throws you a story or a comment which you do not find the least bit interesting. Lacking the proper motivation, you fire back a response without the slightest idea of what particular level of amusement to fulfill. Most likely, given your disinterest, the response would be way below par of your date's initial attempt at an interesting conversation.

The Guru said that his friend was able to subject the theory to experimentation, saying that based on experience, the women with whom he had the most pleasant dates also shared his sentiments that their date went very well. He would find out about this through other friends with whom his previous dates shared their thoughts with.

The second premise is that good dates are driven primarily by good conversation which consequently is predominated by excellent communication. Sharing sentiments and thoughts is part of good conversation and this helps people get to know each other better.

Thus the theory shows that in as early as an initial date, a relationship is already fostered between two people in their inital attempts at a conversation and gradually grows much thanks to communication. The entire process is an exercise of give and take. You are given something by someone which brings a big smile to your face. So you take it but you are not contented with just receiving. You want to go ahead and see the same, if not an even brighter, smile on his face so you go ahead and send something back. This could go on for days, months and even years. This constant communication volleyball is so crucial that once someone stops sending the communication ball flying over the net, the relationship ends just like when someone decides to stop playing the game and walk away.

Lessons:
2.1 The whole theory of dating does not just apply to the context of a boy-girl relationship. It works for parents and children and friends.
2.2 Listening is as important as talking. Sometimes there could be no better response than to just listen.
2.3 Selfishness does not figure prominently in a relationship. A monologue (mo-no-lo-gu in Japanese) ensues instead of a dialogue.
2.4 Someone can choose to stop playing the game when it is no longer amusing.
2.5 If dating has a theory, I am sure a theory also exists as to why people choose not to date.

To close this entry, here is an interesting (and funny) email I got from a friend today.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and
jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5
and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA
3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and
House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate


Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an
entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operation system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to
install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will create Snoring
Loudly.Wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-
Law 1.0 or re-install another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program,
but it does have a limited memory and cannot
learn new applications quickly. You might
consider additional software to improve memory
and performance. I personally recommend Hot
Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

December Love Song: A Mix of Opposites

Two weeks ago, I was sitting in a computer cafe in the U-belt area, having the time of my life downloading MP3s from different Asian artists. Despite the muddle which was the World Wide Web, I was able to come across a website which could be considered a treasure trove for an MP3 hunter for Asian songs like me. *Looks around cautiously* The computer cafe was powered by a DSL connection so I was downloading more MP3s than usual - A*Mei, BoA, Tamaki Nami, Cherry Filter, The Pillows, Maaya Sakamoto, Twins and even the opening and closing songs from several anime titles. Asian songs are very difficult to find in local record bars. Scouring the shelves would just yield albums from the following artists: F4 (including their solo albums), 5566, Harlem Yu, Jolin Tsai, Utada Hikaru (naturally!) and (the sole representative from Korea) BoA.

Having a preference for Mandarin pop, I scrolled over to that section of the website. To no surprise, my favorite Mando pop singer Wang Lee Hom was listed. Having fallen deeply inlove with his songs, I shall dedicate one entry to him and to him alone. Hehehehe...I sound like a inane teenager. Anyway, I still checked the list to see if there were any songs there which I had not yet heard. I basically had all...except one. It was a song entitled Shi Er Yu De Qing Ge which in English means December Love Song. I read the artist credits and saw that it was actually a duet with Gackt (pronounced Ga-Ku-To), a popular Japanese singer and former vocalist for a visual kei band, with whom Lee Hom co-starred with a few years back in a movie called Moonchild.

Wang Lee Hom (center) and Gackt Camui (second from right) with their co-stars from the movie Moonchild, including Gackt's fellow J-Rock icon, L'Arc-en-Ciel frontman Hyde (second from left).

My ignorance of J-Rock (or K-Rock for that matter) is really deplorable. Having listened to a few songs from that genre, I still gravitate towards songs from local alternative and indie rock groups. Add to that the fact that in my junior year in college, a classmate of mine loved J-Rock and once carried a magazine which featured one of her crushes. I was looking through it and found myself half-curious, half-shocked that the people in the magazine pages looked androgynous. Pop is definitely more universal, despite the language...thus the name. I was fifteen when I first saw Utada Hikaru on MTV and I felt a certain affiliation for her music even if I didn't understand a single word she said...well, except the lines "It's automatic." But as for rock and alternative music, I prefer to stick to songs I can understand.

My hesitation to listen to the song was fuelled by the fact that I knew that the song was an original by Gackt (originally entitled 12 Gatsu no Love Song in Japanese). Given his visual kei background, I was wary about how his duet with Lee Hom, a hip-hop/R&B pillar in the Mando pop music scene, would come out. But despite the fear of disappointment, I was also interested in how the voices of both would blend. I started visualizing Ashanti doing a duet with Steven Tyler. Later on I gave in and decided to listen to it, rationalizing that I never heard Gackt sing in the first place. Dragging the song into Media Player gave me the best musical journey I had ever been on.

The song starts out with the familiar intro of a typical Christmas song - faraway bells. Then a soft, short instrumental (I'm suspecting it's violin) makes an entrance followed, finally, by Gackt singing the first verse. His voice is deep and dark with an interesting mix of classical tremolo roughened up by a bit of rock flair. It was like listening to a father sing a song to his little daughter that I soon found myself closing my eyes to further absorb the emotion Gackt was putting into the song.

Then my eyes fluttered open when I was jolted by sudden beating of drums to signal the start of the chorus. I immediately heard a various array of instruments, their respective sounds blending with each other, intertwined in a haunting melody - guitars strummed, drums pounded, violins bowed, piano keys struck. As if that were not enough for my poor heart, Lee Hom joined Gackt in singing the chorus. Together, their voices sounded with such exquisite richness I almost forgot to breathe. It conjured images of Gackt singing in a stage with curtains drawn, all drab and dark except for a lone spotlight focused on him. Then all of a sudden, floodlights are switched on in a split second and the curtains are raised, revealing a full orchestra in the background and Lee Hom somewhere near him. Everything seems to be drowning in the brightness of light in the entirety of the chorus.

After the chorus, the song flows into second verse, reverting into its former quiet nature. Once again the Yuletide feel was ushered back thanks to the soft chiming bells. Softer percussion follows along with plucked guitar strings. Lee Hom sings the second verse and knocks me off my seat. I have listened to this song countless times that had it been recorded on magnetic tape, there would be none left now but shreds of it, yet everytime this part comes, I always cannot help but smile. Lee Hom's smooth, lush voice greatly contrasts yet perfectly complements Gackt's rougher rendition, it seems like watching water cascade over a rock - soothing and quiet, almost like sunlight streaking through a canopy of trees.

The entire song itself is a harmonious blend of opposites: rough and smooth, loud and soft, faraway and imminent. However if there is one constant thing about the song, it would have to be the intensity. The alternating entrance and exit of opposites would give the impression that the energy dips and rises in every available opportunity but it does not. The instrumental portion even allows this showcase of contrast - melodious interlude from possible woodwind instruments punctuated by heavy percussion.

Gackt and Lee Hom sing their hearts out until the end, even belting in the climactic portion of the song. Lee Hom's signature "Ooooohhhs" make several appearances. Gackt even seemed to be influenced a bit by Lee Hom as evidened by his occasional "Heys" and "Nooooos." The ending of the song is not entirely sudden though not completely anticipated. It was like slipping slowly into nothingness but getting the chance to bid farewell. As the last strains of the song disappeared, I was only too disappointed to know it had finally ended - after seven minutes and 2 seconds of auditory rollercoaster.

POSTSCRIPT: Lee Hom fans loved the collaboration with Gackt. Gackt fans however were apalled by the temporary on-the-verge-of-pop transformation of their rocker idol and openly declared they preferred the original Japanese version. *smiles* These are the English lyrics of December Love Song. I have been searching the Internet for the Pinyin version of the lyrics so I could sing along to Gackt and Lee Hom too. After two weeks, I was met with success...IN AN AYUMI HAMASAKI FORUM of all places!!! *laughs*

December Love Song

The evening lights, coloring the night's busy avenues,
down the street brings back memories of you.

Now I am watching, as lovers pass me by,
finding your shadows, in the views of my eyes

Now I am here, all alone
Remembering the time we used to laugh together
in the fall of the cold
I still think of you,
Wondering if you feel the same

CHORUS:
Save, your smile for me,
even although you cry for me
Remember me and love me always

Love, and smile for me,
Hold on to all that we had
remembering and love me again

I'm so depressed living , a quiet life now,
There is no one here, in which to hold hands,
or protect me from the cold
Feeling like this loneliness will tear me apart
I am waiting and looking for you voice
To get me out of the dark

Snowflakes fall like the tears that running down my face
I wanna hold you just one more time
I think of you night and day
Wondering if you feel the same

Being in the silence of the night
Fall into my arms and I'll hold you so tight
My kiss will guide our missing hearts
and tell me you'll love again

Save, your smile for me,
even although you cry for me
remember me and love me always

Love, and smile for me,
Hold on to all that we had
remembering and love me again.

The Great Flood

The Bible gives an account of the great flood that wiped the face of the earth clean during the time of Noah:

"The waters rose and increased greatly on the earth...and all the high mountains under the entire heavens were covered...every living thing that moved on the earth perished...everything on dry land that had breath of life in its nostrils died." (Genesis 7:18-23)

I had my own version about two weeks ago:

"The waters rose and increased greatly on the room...and the thinning grey carpet and wood-tiled floor were covered...every living cockroach that crawled in the deepest cracks and crevices perished...everything on dry land that had some form of breath of life in its nostrils died, including the laptop adapter."

I was jolted out of a really good sleep by our helper at seven in the morning. My mind was barely registering what she had said because I had slept at three in the morning after a really fun YM session with Anna. "Baha...baha," she kept on repeating. My half-asleep brain lit up with a bit of life and so I asked "Did it rain?" The next thing I hear was sloshing as she made her way to the phone. I get off the bed and instantly come in contact with cold water that almost reached my ankle.

Apparently I had a really good sleep...too good to even hear or notice that the water hose under the kitchen sink had come off (blame it on age says the plumber) and practically sprayed water into the room, transforming it into water wonderland in a matter of hours. Water does wake you up, especially when you're standing on it. I splashed around, assessing the damage. Most of the furniture were mounted on wooded stands, especially the sofa, so the damage was minimal...for our part. We opened the door and realized that the hallway was slowly showing the beginnings of what could be a Rio Grande in a matter of minutes, not to mention water getting into our neighbors. Panic began to surge but reached its pinnacle when our helper pointed something to me. "Your laptop adapter." I whirled around (slosh) and ran (more slosh slosh slosh). The laptop adapter practically looked like a little black flatboat rocked by waves which obviously came from my sloshing. I was not thinking and did the most stupid thing ever. All I could ever think about was the submerged laptop adapter and how much it was going to cost me. Yes, to cut a long story short and to wind down to the most stupid of my actions, I picked it up. Like I said, my head was not right. I was thinking what the sogging wet adapter was going to do to my pocket, but not to myself in terms of a casket, Coke and biscuits for the wake and a gravesite with a dark tombstone and nice yellow daisies. I got a sudden (but not too much) jolt of electricity, just in time for the electrician to walk in and see me. He turned off the main switch for us.

So I spent almost the entire morning trying to dry up the wet floor and the dripping rug. The kitchen hose was replaced with a new one and I tried to console myself about the laptop adapter (it had scratches anyway). I particularly enjoyed mopping and sweeping the floor and seeing dead roaches at every corner. After lunch, my eyes began to give way and one of my last thoughts before I drifted off to sleep was how to keep my ears perked up for ominous sounds and how utterly brainless I was for picking up the sogging adapter.

The Return of Blackfinger

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo was probably buried in last minute preparations for her State of the Nation Address, carefully rehearsing her speech perhaps in front of one of the biggest mirrors in Malacanang Palace.

Along Commonwealth Avenue rolls an effigy of the President, a large loathful lizard with the head of the President, its legs tightly coiled around a miniature version of Malacanang in an almost deathlike grip, as if choking the very life out of the country itself in an almost desperate effort to cling to even the fraying ends of power.

Rallyists and policeman volley taunts and sharp stones back and forth as if they were beach balls.

The color of the Manila skyline is dominated by flags of the deepest shade of scarlet. On the streets, people in jeans and worn-out shirts holler for decent lives and GMA's resignation. In the great halls of Congress, house representatives dressed in their finest garb applaud the embattled president.

This is divisiveness in its finest hour.

Elsewhere, unperturbed by the political mayhem and unmindful of the riot that could erupt at any minute along Commonwealth, my eyebrows furrow as I keep careful watch while my sister painstakingly paints my fingernails black.

I have no profound reasons for deciding to dip my fingernails in the shadow of night. This has nothing to do with the time and trends. I am no rebel and I am not even making a fashion statement. Perhaps it was slightly triggered by remorse after my father's cellphone got stolen yesterday. Needless to say, it was a dictate of whim. But nevertheless it was nothing greater than an ordinary activity in what would later turn out to be (after watching GMA's SONA) a rather ordinary day for me.

The last time Blackfinger made an appearance, my life was fully devoid of drama. It is going to be immensely interesting what Blackfinger is to witness this time around.

The Perfect Time

"To every thing, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven..."

Solomon wrote these in Ecclesiastes. I first encountered these words as a little girl. I did not quite know what to make of the verse and dismissed it rather furtively. It was rightly so. It was not yet my time to understand what Solomon had written then but it was almost absolute that I someday will.

Before leaving for college, I read Ecclesiastes 3 again. In my sophomore year when I was deciding which major to take, I read it once more. When I was deciding whether to pursue my masters's degree, I pore through those lines. When my mother got sick, those words gave me comfort. This summer when I was yet in another of the most painful crossroads in my life, Ecclesiastes became my guiding light.

The years tame the tempestuous spirit, unruly emotions and the impulsive youth. This would be rather ironic, given the fact that as the years go by, speed seems to be the most significant for many. In my business classes, I was taught to keep waiting to a minimum because people want responses in an instant. Otherwise you lose them to other competitors. My programming classes placed much more emphasis on speed. Different codes may perform the same function but greater preference is given for codes which can deliver the result at a much faster rate. I remember when Anna and I were tasked to make a sales and inventory program using JAVA for our object-oriented programming class. Our codes were long and rambling and for the user to complete a sales invoice, he would have to be jolted by AT LEAST SEVEN pop-up windows!

Waiting is not pleasant, especially if it involves crucial events. The agony is unbearable. It becomes worse when the result is in stark contrast to what is expected or desired. Thus waiting becomes almost synonymous with worrying. More often than not, worrying is anything but healthy.

Attaching worrying to waiting does not make a pretty picture. As a matter of fact, it rids "waiting" of any romantic images that the word may invoke (just think of movies like "Somewhere in Time"...a digression but what was that about???). But knowing that everything moves according to a predefined schedule makes waiting part of a beautiful choreography. It's like looking at out at a sea of dancers in a dance floor while waiting for your turn to make your grand entrance and, as some dancer friends say, strut your stuff for the world to see. Every person moves in time with the music and though the movements and the steps may not always be the same for everybody, the harmony is evident and undeniable. I heard one of the best definitions of peace last Sunday. Peace is not the absence of conflict. Rather it is refusing to worry about things which are beyond your ability to control.

My Lola has yet been granted another opportunity to take her place on the dance floor. I feel relieved and thankful for that. Perhaps there are more dances that she has to learn and more dancers she needs to meet. I do not know when the time will come for her curtsy but I am sure that today is not that day. Eventually when she needs to make her final bow, I admit it will be laced with sadness for many, including me, but one thing is sure: IT WILL BE GRAND.

"...a time to be born...a time to die...a time to weep...a time to laugh...a time to mourn... a time to dance."