Apprehension and yes, even fear. For the first time in my life, I can actually say that I do not know what lies ahead. The future is uncertain, as many have claimed in an endless fashion. 21 years old and a graduate student...I do not know if life can get any harder and anymore crazier than this.
I cannot explain this but ever since I was a kid, I had always wanted to know what it was like being 21. The age isn't completely fascinating. 18 would be more memorable. 13 would be intriguing and turbulent. 30 could perhaps signal desperation. 50 would be like the California gold rush. And 80? I could only think of a sepulchre for that. But 21? It's forgettable...but not for me.
So here I start...barely 21 years old...at the point in time that I have always wanted to be in. As I sit here and write this, I wonder why. The answer comes in almost a snap. I had written the words down before. And I need to hear them once more. Fear. Apprehension. I'll never look at them the same way again.
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