Spiderman 3 just didn't leave my legs in a twist...even if I have six less than what the neighborhood friendly spider has.
After almost 3 hours of being enclosed in a place as dark as Venom's slick pseudopodia, I left feeling more confused than ever. Seriously, what was all that about? They say too much of something is not a good thing and I guess the third installment of the film is a good example of that. I just thought there was too much going on in the entire course of the story that it all pretty much bound the movie in a cocoon too tight to render it unrecognizable. In the first place, there were too many villains for this movie to handle: the Sandman (Thomas Haden Church), Venom/Eddie Brock (Topher Grace) and of course, the only better looking person in the movie after Topher Grace, Harry aka Goblin Jr. (James Franco). Some films are able to pull off this kind of stunt of having one too many antagonists to really test the mettle of the superhero in question but Spiderman 3 had trouble juggling all three. Maybe I was just having memory problems but whenever one villain appeared on screen, I would instantly forget that there was another villain in existence. It was only when the other villain would rear his bleached head again would I then realize "Oh, right, you're still alive."
Spiderman 3's web of a plot eventually spun out of control thanks to its unamusing attempts to be funny. Case in point were "bad" Peter Parker's attempts to channel Fred Astaire, Eminem and David Beckham all in one go. For some reason, no one in the movie theater was chuckling, not even the kids. I thought those scenes would be funny in some other movie at some other time...just not in this one. My sister's expression was even funnier in the dimly lit theater. She was rolling her eyes and groaned "This is like the movie that would never end." But as if that were not enough, the "bad" Peter Parker had to strut around as if he were in a shampoo commercial, flipping his hair all over the place. He looked like half the boys in my 5th grade class when Casper was everybody's favorite movie and every girl was mooning over Devon Sawa. The entire act was just not funny anymore. Add that to Harry and Mary Jane's "Twist" interlude when the two were making scrambled eggs and Peter's rather awkward tango ensemble with Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) in a jazz bar, I then found myself wondering if I were watching a movie or That's Entertainment.
The movie's attempt to tackle several conflicts and resolve them all in almost three hours left it in tricky knot a bit too difficult to unravel. Naturally, Spiderman has to deal with the villains Sandman, Venom, Goblin Jr. and of course, the usual band of city crooks and criminals who are no match for the web-slinging hero. Aside from that, he also has to wrestle with impending narcissim and his tendency to be too self-absorbed, negative qualities which eventually get magnified when he plays momentary host to Venom. As if that were not enough, he has to watch out for his best friend Harry who is still on the Spiderman warpath but whose vengeance is momentarily interrupted by short-term memory loss. A new twist is also added to the events surrounding the death of Peter's Uncle Ben which makes the hunt for the Sandman more of a personal vendetta for Spiderman. The plot gets more tortuous when you factor in Parker's relationship issues with Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst), the love of his life, who begins to nurse insecurities because of her own career issues and the fact that her superhero boyfriend is becoming the darling of New York along with every girl who resides in it. It is also not to be forgotten that Harry the best friend is also still inlove with Mary Jane and even attempts to steal her from Peter again in the latter course of the movie. Top this off with the movie's only gem in my opinion, a rather poignant lesson on forgiveness, which disappointingly does not really make that much of an impact and ends up bobbing helplessly in the quagmire thanks to the movie's convoluted mesh of a plot.
Many movies have attempted to carry numerous conflicts in one setting and have succeeded in tying everything up neatly in a slick bundle. It just so happens that where other movies succeeded, Spiderman 3 sloshed and failed. It tried too much to be everything in one movie - action, fantasy, romance, comedy and even a mini musicale - but the formula just did not work that the film just seemed so disjointed. In the movie's last leg, when Harry eventually joins Spiderman as he battles Venom and the Sandman, I found myself wickedly waiting for Superman to show up. That was how hodgepodge-y it was in my opinion.
Sorry to Spidey fans but Spiderman 3 just got washed down my neighborhood friendly waterspout.
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