Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Night Before

28 February 2012, 11 p.m.

So what does a girl do on the eve of one of the most important days of her life?

Months ago, I imagined I would be biting my nails to nothingness and fighting off sleeplessness, all while leafing through my Bible furiously and perhaps waiting for some divine sign that everything was going to be all right.

Instead, I am combing through about seven hundred photos of a recent family trip to Boracay, rinsing my seawater-infused snorkelling gear, picking out really stubborn whiteheads from my nose with a tweezer and trying to get one of my dogs to stop following me around.  There is a certain calmness which has enveloped me and I know I will be reaching for my Bible just before bedtime to do my nightly reflection and say a small prayer.  I can feel a slight pinch of nervousness, the kind that is less disturbing than the pain brought about by a small red ant taking a bite off the flesh in my toe.  I never imagined I would be tweeting or uploading photos in Facebook.   

Even THE day itself is typically non-existent.  The day I either pass or fail the bar examinations technically exists only every four years.  So if I intend to celebrate the anniversary of my deep heartache or extreme jubilation, I would be unable to do so every year.  I guess it makes one realize how insignificant this day should be - how ever it turns out, even if it unfolds in my favor.  This day does not define me, it does not make me who I am, it does not set what I can or cannot do.

Tomorrow will be another gateway into something better.

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