Twin Tussle

Sometimes I think there’s a little tug-of-war going on inside of me.  On other days, it gets worse and escalates into a full-blown, all-out rampage as the wide-eyed wanderlust-cum-daydream believer gets her knees all wound up around the hands of the small-city girl who thrives on simple joys.  

The wanderlust/daydreamer is ambitious, hopefully not to a fault.  She wants to see, hear, taste and touch everything not just because she wants to say “Been there, done that.”  It’s because she wants to answer questions on her own.  She wants to take up the sword that she knows is a tad bit too heavy and slay the dragon that she can see is a mite bigger than a skyscraper.  She wants to get a burn on her shoulder so that she can feel the rawness of the pain and the almost barbaric way it eats into your flesh.  She wants to feel what it’s like to get up and walk again.  She wants to feel her head spin like a kaleidoscope until she hits the threshold.  She wants to be blinded momentarily by the sun as she stares at it straight.  She wants to feel the wind on her face and to walk on sand that she has never stepped on before.  She wants to lose so that she could win again.  She wants to see whether the books were right when it spoke about lightning and fairytales.  She wants to see for herself how cocoa becomes chocolate and how the sugar could eventually lead to diabetes - in technicolor.

On the other side of the spectrum, steadily grasping at the ankles of the wanderlust, is the one of quiet mornings.  She gives in to the persistent knocking of the other one but continues to hold on, not barely, not defiantly, not desperately.  She is patient and tempered and knows where her vision ends and what her hands can reach.  She is easily satiated and looks forward to tomorrow without thinking about the days that may follow.  She is settled, calm and collected.  She may not completely know what she wants but she realizes there is joy in mystery and value in surprises.  She lets her more turbulent twin go off to the world in her whinnying pony but keeps her grasp firm just to make her presence felt.  

As of today, it’s the latter who has taken a backseat as the wanderlust walks the streets while Davy Jones sings in the background.  

But she who grasps knows that, at the end of the day, the only place anyone would want to head for is home.