Just four days after my experience with the stylist from Deep Six, I met up with some college classmates in Megamall. A good number of us showed up in Kenny Rogers for dinner along with a teacher of ours. I won't name him for fear that it might be intrusion to his privacy. I went with my perennial companion Anna. To add to the already stacking comments that Anna and I look alike, Leigh's boyfriend said that we could be mistaken as sisters. We have been labelled as cousins and the sister comment is particularly common. Anna and I are just waiting for the day that someone declares we're twins.
After dinner, Teacher suggested we go watch a movie. It was getting late so the others decided to leave. I opted to go for the movie along with Affie, Ken, Diane and Teddy. We wanted to watch The Skeleton Key but it was not yet being shown. The bowling lanes were practically overflowing with people. So we decided to go to the Megastrip, have some coffee or dessert and talk.
We found a spot in an already bursting-at-the-seams Seattle's Best: a small table with two chairs. The Megastrip is not usually teeming with a crowd this big even on weekends but on that day, Parokya ni Edgar was doing a free concert in the parking lot in front of Seattle's Best. A little while later, some people vacated their seats and we occupied a much bigger space consisting of two tables and just enough chairs for the six of us to do what we came to do - have coffee or some dessert and talk.
That's when I learned another lesson from Teacher who I have since then associated with an alter-ego I call The Guru of Dating.
The Guru said that there was such a thing called theory on dating.
A theory on dating was interesting to learn, especially after the concept was introduced to me at the age of 10, credits going to Francine Pascal and her whole band from Sweet Valley.
So the six of us sat there, with Parokya wailing "First Day Funk" in the background, as The Guru shared with us the theory of dating which, he said, was related to him by a friend.
One of the first premises of the theory of dating states that if you, for example, feel good about your date and enjoyed it immensely, chances are, your date also shared the same sentiments.
For instance, you say something to your date because you think he would like it or you feel it would amuse him. The truth of the matter is, if your date really did like what you said or truly felt amused by it, chances are, he would try to give the proper response. The proper response would consist of your date throwing back an interesting reaction, story or comment which he thinks would give you the same level of amusement you gave him, or even higher. You receive the response and enjoy it immensely so you return the favor once more. So the entire date goes on like a volleyball game - the ball getting tossed back and forth between the net as two teams try to do their best to get the ball to the opposite side with as much interesting flair as possible.
Which is why pretending to enjoy a date is a particularly difficult feat. Your date throws you a story or a comment which you do not find the least bit interesting. Lacking the proper motivation, you fire back a response without the slightest idea of what particular level of amusement to fulfill. Most likely, given your disinterest, the response would be way below par of your date's initial attempt at an interesting conversation.
The Guru said that his friend was able to subject the theory to experimentation, saying that based on experience, the women with whom he had the most pleasant dates also shared his sentiments that their date went very well. He would find out about this through other friends with whom his previous dates shared their thoughts with.
The second premise is that good dates are driven primarily by good conversation which consequently is predominated by excellent communication. Sharing sentiments and thoughts is part of good conversation and this helps people get to know each other better.
Thus the theory shows that in as early as an initial date, a relationship is already fostered between two people in their inital attempts at a conversation and gradually grows much thanks to communication. The entire process is an exercise of give and take. You are given something by someone which brings a big smile to your face. So you take it but you are not contented with just receiving. You want to go ahead and see the same, if not an even brighter, smile on his face so you go ahead and send something back. This could go on for days, months and even years. This constant communication volleyball is so crucial that once someone stops sending the communication ball flying over the net, the relationship ends just like when someone decides to stop playing the game and walk away.
Lessons:
2.1 The whole theory of dating does not just apply to the context of a boy-girl relationship. It works for parents and children and friends.
2.2 Listening is as important as talking. Sometimes there could be no better response than to just listen.
2.3 Selfishness does not figure prominently in a relationship. A monologue (mo-no-lo-gu in Japanese) ensues instead of a dialogue.
2.4 Someone can choose to stop playing the game when it is no longer amusing.
2.5 If dating has a theory, I am sure a theory also exists as to why people choose not to date.
To close this entry, here is an interesting (and funny) email I got from a friend today.
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and
jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5
and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA
3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and
House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an
entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operation system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to
install Guilt 3.0.
If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should
then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0
and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a
very bad program that will create Snoring
Loudly.Wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-
Law 1.0 or re-install another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will
crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program,
but it does have a limited memory and cannot
learn new applications quickly. You might
consider additional software to improve memory
and performance. I personally recommend Hot
Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
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